Can “Fast Fix” Save the Planet?



If your dream is on our menu we can help you forget.

(Quote from Fast-Fix employee – name withheld – don’t think he registered this 2nd job with ATO)

Current Menu Suggestions:

If you have certain other originally defined political requirements or diet on special information, this menu may not be for you.

While all causes on the menu appeared fresh on publication, some unsettling may have occured between recent issues and contents of packaging nay have spoiled since the last election. Choose from the menu cautiously as some have experienced upsets from seemingly plausable when advertised but on closer ingestion, quite unpalatable information…which then may cause unexpected and expensive delays… to the repair process.  The only alternative many see is to become active and choose from the menu and align, knowing this will for the moment remove that nagging thought that you are still not doing enough to save the planet!

You cant back every winner but here is my picks for who is most likely to save the planet – given enough support ; 

Greens: Fresh and Organic – Great things in store for you and your family, Gunn’s not allowed and not too impressed with Nuclear either…enough to make the party release black balloons last week, hardcore activist party, not for your everyday suit but we are seeing more of them coming out at last.

Wilderness Society – Yeah right –  these people have the finger on the pulse, campaigning to Save something,  a share market scam, a Marathon something like that – radical again, will hurl themselves in front of large trucks to stop a mine if they have to….very switched on crew really, they are the Paddy Pallin of the save the something world…always alert and ready…don’t ask too many questions and it will be easy to digest. Certainly don’t ask any of their street campaigners any questions that arn’t already shown in their quick cheat environmental issues sheets!

Getup : Apologies, Getup was a bit on the nose this morning so sadly has been taken off the menu while the board is re-shuffled. In the meanwhile any corporate donations will be accepted by Rosettamoon – thankyou!

ACF : As fired up as ever and still has a sting in it’s tail without the Oil Rockers radical influence. In fact insiders say the ACF is more radical then ever and gearing up to close every toxic mine it has ever rattled on about, and its planning new campaigns as well, so if you are a little less radical but nonetheless cashed up and guilt ridden, this could be the soul replenishing morsel for you.

Save the Children : If we save the Children we are saving the future yeah – that is the arseholes that made the children in the first place, the point is that children need to be saved as well so give generously when you see them on the street and you are bound to feel much better – save the children just issued a press release – to reduce overhead’s they are requesting we start being nice to all children and therefore have requested that you stop sending donations – The Wilderness Society have kindly offered to purchase all stationary and signs which will be altered by retarded children to read “Save the Wilderness”.

Greenpeace : Is like way cool but out of date so if you haven’t canceled  your membership, don’t like brag about it at a party or work, as they are definitely of the eighties and not so way cool as the Sea Shepherds which is way cooler believe me so much so that they didn’t meet the criteria to make it on the Fast Fix menu.

EarthDay : For the Kids they will love turning the lights off once a year and see how much better they feel and see how it all goes dark and it will stop Climate Change and Poverty in third world countries, and you can reduce your footprint even smaller, yes earthday may be the one’s that save the day, so they say.

ANTAR : Be really cool and be a white dude help the dark brother with all those woes from mining and the other bad stuff that just seems to happen every time an empire expands its wings.

More of course is always on the menu but then you are probably quite full ( or even sick) , feel free to return next time you need invest a little health and vigour into the well being of your conscience.